As I was about my morning walk this morning I found myself more than a little agitated. Earlier in the morning I found myself questioning everything from truth Emotional-Confusionin media to why the God I profess always seemed so distant. I questioned everything from the reality of it all meaning this world around me and why a God of love remains so absolute in his silence. I was even beginning to question the entire realm of Christianity and why it is so divided and abstract in accomplishment. Why I wondered have all these years passed since the time of Jesus and I can find no marked improvement in the condition of the church and further, even possible regression. I’m thinking this whole thing is but an illusion creating nothing but a divergent from the real truth which has absolutely nothing to do with what I see and hear in the natural.

So as I am walking the trail along the lake I see a sign post and I stop and lean on it, look out over the lake, and ask these questions of myself. Has there ever been a man other than Jesus that has walked this earth who could have created this that I look upon even to its most minute detail and I answered no! I then thought about the heavens and earth and the universes beyond and I said no. What about my body with all of the working intricacies within, did a man conceive this? No. And breaking the body down further I asked myself is there a particular atom within of which I know its name? No. So how can a Creator know of me or call me by name?  Romans Chapter One states the following: 18 The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of people, who suppress the truth by their wickedness, 19 since what may be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them. 20 For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse.  But, says I, the Bible  was written by men and just where or when did God or Jesus for that matter ever tell us that he had commissioned certain individuals to write assorted works that would one day be canonized by other men making the Bible as the inerrant word of God? Faith my friend. Faith in what I ask? O Ye of little faith. Who said that? Jesus. Who says Jesus said that? Matthew, comes the answer. Who is he? He was one of the twelve disciples of Jesus. Where do I find him? In the Bible there is a Book of Mathew to reference. So you bring me back to a Book of Books to resource this statement as coming from Jesus as written by a man based on hearsay?

So thinking that a Great God who created everything might know this one man out of billions is a little like having the ability to name every single element of his own body and that his core, the mind, even has such ability or interest in doing so. And why I ask if all is true in the Bible then why are there so many interpretations from the original necessary? Further, why are so many different denominational churches required to get the truth out about the one God who they say is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow? So if there was an original then it must have been men disagreeing with men that necessitated the split and what does that have to do with God? Some say the experience and words spoken on the Mount of Transfiguration was the source of a church being commissioned through Peter, while others believe that the rock Jesus made reference to, was Mt Hermon, the mountain itself which was the place where the fallen angels had been sent and that Jesus was making an open declaration that the Kingdom of God was here in Him and that the Gates of Hell upon which he stood would not prevail against it.

Ah, but what about the time I have spent in this quest to know You? It seems that I am seeking some form of Godly conformation of my getting ever closer to understanding the things of God. Then once again I realize it is the flesh who is impatient in this quest and forgetting that with God there is no time. So I find a recipe of  self-justification of the flesh in which God has no interest. Time to me brings an occasional struggle with doubt, then anger with myself for getting in that bad place when I know better. Instead of me asking God how long, He may just as well ask me how long have I been with you and yet you doubt. Sometimes I wonder about when things might change from my present predicament to something better, only to again realize it is a question of a man devoid of patience, long-suffering, endurance and other gifts of the Spirit. Could I be accused of trust with conditions which of course is not trust at all. Does God really care about me to the degree that He will answer my prayers? What is it you are praying for my son? Is your prayer consistent with a man who believes and has the faith of a mustard seed or one in need of a bailout from his present state which any true believer knows is engineered by his Father.

Can I die to the flesh and realize that it is so or is it a new spiritual way of life that supersedes the old and I remember no more? For certainly there is need for my identifying with and yes becoming crucified with the Lord Jesus and be raised a new being that has become a Son of God. This “Self” destruction comes with pain, wonderment and some fear. But what can a man do when he knows the requirements laid down by our Heavenly Father and did Jesus make a way for me to understand the obedience necessary to surrender to the Will of God? What then flesh can you give me that would be greater than what God has promised to those that Overcome? So then I say, because my flesh does wish to live at all costs this must be the reason God does not hear me. No my Son, it is you that does not hear Me. And remember:  Jesus answered them, “Do you now believe?  Behold, the hour is coming, indeed it has come, when you will be scattered, each to his own home, and will leave me alone. Yet I am not alone, for the Father is with me.  I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” John 16: 31-33    Amen.















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