This Grape is of the vintage that as a youth when I would pick up a crayola with my left hand to draw or color a picture everyone including teachers would say no Rob you need to use your right hand. So while my brain was in a quandary as to why things didn’t feel natural I would attempt to please my mentors and comply usually with less than desired results. Why I wonder does anyone care which hand I use to place some figures on a piece of paper or throw a ball for that matter. Everyone is right-handed but me I thought so I must be weird or something. So with a little research I was able to find some disturbing things about myself that I don’t want you to tell anyone about. For example: There’s no denying it Left-handers are the odd men out. Sure, lefties make up about 10 percent of the population — but, frankly, it seems like society has forgotten about them. Right-handed gadgets, awkwardly designed desks, cooking tools that fit comfortably in your right hand (now that’s just wrong!). What causes someone to become a southpaw? Scientists aren’t exactly sure, but research points to a complex collaboration between genes and environment. While no exact set of “leftie genes” have been discovered, people who dominantly use their left hands do have more left-handed family members. And researchers have found different brain wiring’s in righties vs. lefties.
What? Are you kidding me?
But no matter what it is that drives someone to use their antipodal paw, science has also uncovered a particular set of personality traits that left-handed people tend to have. So for all of you lefties, leftie-loving righties, and ambidextrous folks out there — it’s time to brush up on your left-handed knowledge and help put an end to leftie discrimination once and for all. Lefties make up about 10 percent of the general population. But researchers have found that in populations with certain mental disorders, that rate goes up. Previous studies have found that people with psychosis had a 20 percent likelihood of being left-handed. Now, a new study in the journal SAGE found the rate of psychotic lefties may be even higher. Researchers from Yale University and the University of Texas Southwestern Medical Center assessed 107 patients at outpatient psychiatric clinics. For those with mood disorders, such as depression or bi-polar disorder, the rate of left-handedness was close to average, at 11 percent. But for those with psychosis, such as schizophrenia or schizoaffective disorder, 40 percent of the patients were left-handed, well above average. Enough already. Maybe the teachers were trying to tell me something much more profound than choosing a different hand when writing or throwing a ball. Maybe this has been the problem with me all my life and the cause of all my misfortune and cause for all the errors I’ve made. Maybe this is just cause to not listen to anything I say or read anything I write.
This morning upon getting out of bed I noticed that I kind of ached in most of my body and I was thinking the only muscle not adversely talking to me was my brain, that muscle seemed to be OK, but now I find that little piece of mass found in the five inches between my ears just might be the cause of the whole thing. I am wired wrong. Frankly I never never seen any device run properly when wired wrong and is for sure in need of repair or rebuild before any smooth operation can occur. How does a man repair his brain beyond certain mental exercises or perhaps seeing a doc who when using his or her own brain and study can provide me with some analysis and a road map out of this abyss. Heaven help me. Lord do you have any use of a left-handed wrongly wired man? Silence. Well, perhaps even if he had answered me I wouldn’t have processed it correctly since it would have certainly come from the “wrong” side of my brain. Jesus was left-handed! He was? No I was just kidding you. Who are you? I’m the remaining 60% of the untapped potential (mind) found in that mass between your ears. Do you realize how many recent Presidents of our country are left-handed? I do, need I say more?
Thank God he can take me just as I am and make me new, I only hope he has good electricians in his employ. AAAAMEN! Who said that?