I see two – one who knows by faith the will of God – and another whom for so long has been caught up in worldly denial and challenge. A man who for so long thought it was his lot to suffer and be of no account all the while knowing of an inner strength that was not his own. This demeaning reticence pitiful as it is, creates no basis for faith or a belief in a God that no man has ever seen. Actually, this position of being (or attitude) is slanderous to God and could be defined as disobedience personified and worse it is selfish. I never accomplished because I avoided doing what I knew to do. Instead I imposed an “I can’t do it” mindset thereby excusing myself as weak, poor and otherwise stymied allowing for the self- proclamation, that I am a victim of circumstance justifying my short-lived attempt to do the thing I felt called to do. This perceptive wall of no power, no confidence, coupled with consideration of what other’s might think or say, guides one to the proverbial locked door to which I find no key. This abeyance to “others” gives external conditions more power than there ought to be and generates a reactive position creating a defensive posture posited to all encountered. Certainly, such a one as this is not going to go forth to loudly proclaim anything of note or accomplish anything of merit which is very much unlike Noah who builds a boat where it has never rained, but builds in obedience. I have considered Noah’s thoughts when confronted by others and their queries as to what it was he was doing? Could Noah have thought within how foolish I must appear? But something greater was going on within Noah as he responded in faithful obedience to his God who had instructed him and through his obedience God gave him to the means to finish the job.
It is implicitly dishonest for me to give the appearance of following God when in fact He was still waiting for me to get to work and do what he had called me to do. To change outward things there must of necessity be a change within. It cannot be an affirmation to God that I will surely go, only to falter and hit the wall again and again. There is an action required that substantiates the words spoken of a stated intent. It had to become my being or essence with not so many words. I needed to cut the rope that tied me to the dock of a self-imposed mooring and even if there is an initial drifting certainly God would meet me and chart a course. Is this then, one definition of faith or the only true definition of a person of faith? After all, what is the meaning of the substance of things hoped for, or the evidence of things not yet seen, unless there is a process of the invisible becoming visible and by what means should this occur? Is faith too much of an abstract concept for the natural mind to grasp and put it into motion? What is concrete about something as nebulous as this? How is it said that it is impossible to please God if faith be absent? Does the Lord declare “O’ye of little faith” or if you had faith the size of a mustard seed you could say to this mountain be thou moved and it would be so? What then causes one to hesitate and falter in the quest to do as Jesus did? Be imitators of Me said he and do the things that I do. And further, he proclaims we shall do even greater things because He shall return onto the Father. What say you then man? Can you do even a little of what Jesus did or have you been hoodwinked into believing the impossible? Is it that Scripture bears false witness and though a book of merit should not be considered worthy to base the whole of one’s life? Therefore, there is need of a reckoning. Do you believe? Is God really there? Is God the God of the Bible and the record of His existence verifiable and true? Is the answer that we are without excuse found in the first chapter of Romans that the creature should be able to look about and see the work of His Creator plausible and acceptable enough to act and more importantly, implicitly believe without doubt? Thomas states he will not believe unless he can see and touch the risen Christ and yet here we are the ones who have not had the honor or pleasure of being physically in the presence of Jesus as were the Disciples and yet we believe and further, we are told that we are more blessed as those who have not seen yet believe. So I do believe, but why then do I disobey and refuse to go and do that which I feel led by Him to do? Why do you call me Lord, Lord, and do not do the things to which I command? Can I be Job, faltering in answer to God who asks where I was when the stars were hung and other things even more profound and I repent to ashes. So I speak of my audacity and my supposition and I now write to the paradoxical convergence of a man and his God and this shall be called Audacity and Supposition and it shall be a book.